I Planned To Take My Abortion Decision To The Grave

By Robin Rowe

I’d kept my abortion a secret for 30 years. As a Christian, I believed this was a sin you didn’t commit and definitely didn’t talk about.

I never told anyone what happened when a male friend came over to hang out one afternoon. My life spiraled from there. Partying. Going to clubs. Unexpectedly pregnant. On a cold, damp day I went to an abortion clinic in Harrisburg and aborted my baby. I remember leaving the clinic thinking, “I will take this secret to my grave.”

But God had other plans.

Recently, I felt prompted to volunteer at Align Life Ministries to help other women not make the same mistake I had. As I completed the application, I responded “Yes” to the question about whether I’d had an abortion. The director encouraged me to speak with Align’s Post-Abortion Services Director, so I did.

When I shared my story with her, she recommended that I go through the Surrendering the Secret Bible study. I had asked God to forgive me years ago, and I knew that He had. So I told her I didn’t feel it was necessary. Boy, was I wrong.

The Lord changed my life through the Bible study! I never realized how the abortion had negatively impacted every area of my life. After acknowledging all the lies surrounding my abortion, dealing with the anger, grieving my child, and celebrating my child’s life, I have found a redemption that has set me on a new path in life. I’m now helping other post-abortive women find healing, joy, and freedom in Jesus.

A verse that has a whole new meaning for me is Isaiah 61:3, “For all who mourn in Israel, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.”

When I think of ashes, I think of the outward sign of something burned to the ground, like a house. What I have learned is that the ashes from an abortion aren’t always as obvious as a burned-down house, but they are just as life-altering. And the redemption given by the Lord, just as beautiful.

April is Abortion Recovery Awareness Month.  Many women and men carry the hurt of a past abortion decision for years, and our desire is that all who carry the pain of abortion will experience the healing power of Jesus.  If you or someone you know is struggling with a past abortion decision, please consider contacting Align Pregnancy Services for help.  Additionally, you can purchase post-abortion recovery resources from Surrendering the Secret, a national post-abortion ministry, by clicking here.